i totally hate it when growing up means growing apart.
i have never had friends, okay let me rephrase that, i never really had friends back then in primary school so when i graduated there, i didnt have the "cant bear to leave" my primary school the feeling.

But now in secondary school, when i finally graduate this year, i totally cant bear apart with all of my friends :'(
Its like i finally had someone close to me, someone who shares all my problems, went through so much together, happy or sad, the frienship is still strong.
Sighh..i tink when we all graduate, yeah maybe at first we''ll still have some contact, but gradually we'll all lose contact :(
and all my friends will be too busy with their poly life to even bother abt me, idk where i'll end up :(
I am not even confident of getting into a polytechnic, if i can at least enter republic poly it would've been a miracle, yet im scared, scared of getting my results and what would happen after we all graduate...

Im scared...of being a loner again, being the primary school me, i never made any best friends, yeah i've got a few but they all left me. Well let me tell u my history, Back then in primary 4 and 5, i've had a tamil and eurasian friends, well we weren't exactly good friends just tat we were so called "force to go with each other"? bcos everyone had cliques etc etc..

Den my pri 2 friend she so called left me for another friend.

So surprising right, i got a guy good friend back in primary school XD
he was so good to me! haha even to the extent of wanting to give me one of his things which i fancied.


hmmm, den the years went by, i grew apart from all of them, bcos we weren't in the same class...
and i became a loner :(

Due to the fact that i was so fat ugly back then, that i was so preoccupied with my appearance, i lost all the courage to speak to everyone, much less make friends?

Life was bleak back then, there was even a rumour abt me which totally made it worse, no one liked me, no one wanted to speak to me ... :(
To make matters worse, i had no one to speak to :(

Well thats abt it? cos if i continued den it would've been too long alr. LOL




Currently in secondary school, i manage to experience one thing, FRIENDSHIP!

Thank you, really thank you to all my friends, whether or not have we grown apart.
Bcos u guys let me experience what is friendship, a thing which i never experienced before.
What it's like to gossip, to share secrets, to do all the fun things, to go out together, to have meals together.
Yes, all these are things i never experienced before, thank you :)

Maybe u all wont read this but this ^ kinda dedicated to u guys?
Really appreciate it all! All the ups and down we've been through together.

I guess i'll never experienced this again..
How it  feels like to have someone to encourage u , tell u to have confidence etc etc.


:'(
Things have changed from this moment onwards, but i really hope we wont lose contact :(




Well... below is a picture taken in 2010, last year with my favourite guinea pig, ZHU ZHU!!! <3

Sigh... time really flys, 2011 is coming to an end already....
im getting older too..... :(



In short, i never want to lose valuable friends like you guys, will miss you all ..